experiencing the Holy Spirit...

my history of experiences or.. "charismatic" experiences with the Holy Spirit before the last couple of months is relatively short:

In junior high, my small group leader took my group on a sunday night to a Benny Hinn gathering at the Maybe Center. My leader had told several stories of healing, peoples limbs growing back, getting out of wheelchairs etc and how Benny would be interrupted by the voice of God on his shoulder. But when I was there nothing cool happened but some people in the crowd got in a speaking in tongues shoot-off. They would interpret their own word that, at least in my memory, seemed contradictory to the last persons word. I left with dishonor in my heart for Benny and the crowd... this summer I found out from a friend that he was healed at a Benny Hinn meeting of terets syndrome... (whoop, whoop!)

After a DC Talk concert (dct in da house) we past a car that was broken down in the parking lot and a dude that probably went to oru invited us to pray in faith for the car to miraculously start. he assured us that if we had faith that the car would start. i tried to muster up all that i could but left feeling like it was my fault that the car didn't start... i'm sure there were more little moments from being around the tulsa/oru charisma...

In high school, a group of friends went to a Darrell Evans worship set at Bread of Life(?). it was a school night so i left early but the next day i heard stories of all my friends getting "drunk" in the Spirit. I was a little disappointed i missed it, but really more weirded out.

At Dayspring camp before my Sr year of high school, during worship I heard my friend Chris crying outside of the pavilion. I had the thought to go pray for him. As soon as I touched him i fell down wailing as well. I was weeping uncontrollably the the feeling i was experiencing joy. it was awesome. it happened went on for 20 minutes or so and i worshipped from the ground with Chris for the rest of the night. I had no idea what happened or what to do with it, but i liked it. The experience would come to mind frequently later and the only hypothesis for the situation was that my Junior year was when i started to struggle with seasons of depression. Maybe there was an impartation of faith and hope to last it out...

My most significant moment was my sophomore year of college I was laying in bed deeply depressed. in tears i cried out for help and Jesus came to me in a vision. He told me that I was healed and to "follow Him". His eyes and the look on His face were indescribably loving and compassionate....

A couple years later I had another encounter with a vision of Jesus during worship at a conference in Waco. It was really a simple encounter with the Love of God. No big physical or emotional healing, just a really great moment.

In the last 2 years of beginning to really value the presence of God i have increased sensation while i pray or rest in His presence. i'm aware of the slightest draft on my skin, temperature changes in different places, etc. Fairly regularly my palms get really hot and/or tingly and the air feels weightier almost like i'm swimming in water.

I've always believed in miracles and the power of God, mostly because i experienced it. I've always believed that knowing Jesus is an experience, a relationship rather than just ideas or theology. Jesus lived in 2 worlds, the Kingdom of God first and He brought it to ours. I've always wanted more of the Kingdom to bring (on earth as it is in heaven) but experienced not as much as i wanted and saw little fruit in my seasons of boldness and prayers for the sick, etc.

But the "water level" seems to be rising... This is a season of coming into something.

In April Kelly and I went on a road trip to the Northwest, primarily to visit a church that we had been listening to podcasts and other teachings from. We were impressed by endless stories of renewal, healing, salvation, provision, etc and had to go. Other members of our team had visited before they left and highly recommended it. The culture there was completely different than anything i had seen before. Tons of really happy people. We felt more welcome than in any other church we had ever visited. Strangers prayed for us. Someone gave us a check... They have healing rooms every weekend so we went because Kelly has problems with one of her legs and she was told that she could not get pregnant without "help". They prayed for her leg first. I saw it lengthen and then begin to shake violently for a few minutes before it stopped. Then they told us that we would be pregnant before the end of the summer. To be honest, we still haven't seen tangible results in her leg, but she is pregnant as promised.... While there we were encouraged to ask for impartation prayer from any leader that we saw there which we did. We also had individual sessions with a prayer counselor there that were really impactful for both of us.

The head pastor, Bill Johnson was traveling that weekend, but was in Dallas at a church a week and a half after we got back to OK. We went to see him. After his teaching time he led prophetic healing time in which Kelly's IBS was healed. Afterwords we tried to meet him to ask him to pray for us. He was praying for a kid with a dressing on his stomach but we saw that his wife was standing off to the side. We asked her to pray for us. She did and we both went down. It was my first traditional "wacking". She asked for the Lord to release the Spirit of Intercession on us. I felt waves of wind over me from left to right. When i got up Bill was right there so I grabbed Kelly and he prayed for us. When he put his hand on me there was a spreading weight from where he was touching me. I was not going to go down again right after i got up, but when he was done i had one hand on the floor holding myself up. I didn't hear a word of his prayer but Kelly said he asked for impartation of signs, wonders, healing and creative miracles. Kelly had to drive home because i was "drunk" until we crossed the state line.

We really felt a stirring to go after more and to live in the atmosphere of heaven with the Holy Spirit. Much of our community in Norman has been on a similar journey. We've been "treasure hunting", talking and praying for one another stirring up faith.

In August we left Norman to join our team. Our team meetings (3 times a week) were dynamic and filled with hunger for more of the Lord's presence. Each meeting seemed to increase in momentum. We felt like we were on the cusp of more. Back in Norman we were hearing stories of outbreaking laughter and joy, multiple visions of Jesus, people getting "wack"ed, general "drunkenness" and more. On a Sunday night (for us) we skyped with a group from normcom that have been experiencing that stuff and they prayed/prophesied over us. Before they were done I was on the ground because of the feeling that is was just too much work to stand up. Ken had talked about how this isn't something that you earn or strive for, but it's just a part of our inheritance that we freely receive. On the ground I couldn't strive for anything. i got cold bath of joy. The team started praying for each other and others jointed me, the beached whale on the ground. It was so much fun. Some of the us were "drunk", most laughing. We were giving prophetic words to each other and soaking in the presence of God. It was a unique experience for us all. We are giving one of our team meetings a week to waiting on the Holy Spirit and going running with it. We've had 2 more meetings like it and its been more of the same: tons of laugher, different people being touched and going down, and more. Last night as our meeting was winding down Drew prayed for me, his hand was burning hot on my back and i slowly went down. After a while on the ground i had the sensation that Jesus was holding my hand and I was getting waves of gentle power through my right hand. I also had a couple flashes of heavenly scenes. I feel like in the last 2 1/2 weeks i've gone from unleaded fuel to jet fuel. I'll have bursts of joyful laughter in the middle of class and have visions of renewal/revival everywhere i go...

All the team has been dreaming a lot, too, in the last month. Every night multiple team members have significant dreams. I'm not usually a dreamer. I've had clusters of significant dreams i've used for direction in life. i've never needed to journal them to remember them, but now there are so many i'm starting one... especially when i nap. My first dream here was there was a huge amusement park in our neighborhood (there was a burger street next to it). My feeling is that we are testing out all the rides and soon it will be open to the public... And they'll eat of the bread of life. (what else could burger street mean?)

Amman

We have been in Amman a week now. The time has flown by. Of all the places we have traveled Amman seems to have the least English spoken, which makes it more difficult to get around but makes us eager to start classes and jump in to learning Arabic. We found an apartment for the Kopkes right away just 2 blocks away from the team and a few days later found ours about 3 blocks in the other direction down the hill. The neighborhood Jabal Hussein in far more quaint, quiet and homey than i was expecting. The neighborhood is a big hill with main roads surrounding it. those roads, we call the strip and have most everything we could need. At night the strip feels like a carnival with street vendors and crowds. The falafel, schwarma and knaffe abound. Inside the neighborhood is a grid of streets with apartment buildings up to four stories. Barber shops, fruit stands and "ducanns" corner stores with cokes, chips and ice cream are interspersed between are on the bottom floors of buildings. Kids are playing in the streets especially in the evenings. Nearly everyone says hi as we walk by.

Our apartment is on the bottom floor but because the hill is so steep the back has a great view of the next neighborhood over. I never get tired of looking out the window. We have 2 bedrooms, 1.5 bath, kitchen, a living room and another living room for receiving guests (with air conditioning). The bed is firm but we are getting used to it. We are getting used to not flushing the toilet paper not drinking the water. We have a water subscription that delivers canisters of drinking water. The locals say that this is a hot summer but it does not compare to Oklahoma. The heat maxes at 95 is but is dry and always has a breeze. I'm used to a "heat index" but instead there is a "wind chill". The evenings cool down and feel great. Inside the apartment feels great with the windows open and a fan on.


Though the neighborhood is quieter than i had expected there are sounds to get used to. Daily and propane truck drives by that sounds like the ice cream man. There is a fruit truck that has a militant sounding track on repeat screaming the names of fruits and veggies. A man wanders the streets with cotton candy sliding up and down a harmonica-like instrument. Another man walks the streets yelling something like "Mordecai"... i think he wants to buy things to resell. A man bangs a wrench on a cart to a repeating beat as he walks by. Of course the call to prayer sounds 5 times a day, sometimes it sounds cool, sometimes creepy.

We have been out to see our school. We have gone to some of the larger stores in other areas of town to stock up on goods for our houses. One was like a Wal-mart Supercenter. Almost everything we could want or need was there... yoga mats, snickers ice cream bars and Bulls Eye Barbeque Sauce. I was surprised to see how many imports were available. They may not be in our daily budget but are there for a craving. I have been running twice to "Sport City" with Drew. Sport City is a park/man-made forest in town that has trails for running and areas for picnicking. It feels like we are trail running in Colorado.

School starts next Monday. We are excited for the week of rest. We have been cleaning and setting up our house for the last few days. Our apartment is furnished with furniture and some kitchenware. All of the dishes were grimey and needed elbow pain scrubbing.

Time with the team has been has been great. They have been showing us around, helping set up, translating leases, etc. I can't imagine doing this without them. Their arabic is impressive. Its hard to imagine that we will be at that level at the end of the semester.

The dust of my heart is settling. The stress of packing and tying up all the loose ends, the grief of leaving a wealth of friends and family, jet lag, and the shock of newness of culture and language are clearing up. I look forward to the rhythm of school and team life. The Middle East will soon feel like home...

25 things about me

1. I'm both introverted and extroverted, depends how you define it. I'm quiet but I love to be around people and don't need much alone time.

2. I will play any board game any time.

3. I love other peoples dogs but don't think i will ever have my own.

4. I like to tell stories. When I'm older I want to write a memoir.

5. When I was 20, Jesus healed me of significant depression in an open vision while laying in bed in the night.

6. I didn't tell anyone about it for 4 years. (???)

7. I love chicken wings and prefer the 2 bone piece over the drumstick.

8. I want to take better advantage of Braum's ice cream before I move to the Middle East this summer.

9. I feel most alive in 1 on 1 prayer time with someone else.

10. I don't know if I think 30 Rock is better than the Office, but I look more forward to it...

11. I have never lived in a house with cable.

12. I don't like things to define me, generally... tall, nurse, video/technical guy, goofy, etc. It's taken me too long to let The Kingdom define me.

13. I watch the Watchmen trailer at least twice a week.

14. I tend to like trailers better than movies.

15. I read geeky teenager books. It's fun to relate to the geeky kids at the hospital...and Kate Arndt.

16. I don't like the term "best friend". I like all my friends.

17. I think it would be cool to visit at least 1 new country a year...Kelly and I have so far since we've been married.

18. Today is Kelly and I's 5 year engagement anniversary. (Hey you, that was a good day, wasn't it?)

19. I can't wait to have a consistent sleep/wake cycle.

20. Switchfoot is one of my semi-guilty pleasures. It just makes me happy.

21. I say "semi-guilty" because I am working on being less "snobby" in general. I don't have to feel guilty about it and neither should you.

22. 22 is the number of my boyhood hero Will Clark.

23. I can't say this is a fear, but I have frequent flashes of being in a collision while driving, or a plane crashing on me any other time. Weird.

24. I like to listen to music really loud. I like to feel it. You hear with more than your ears.

25. I will eat anything. If I don't like it, I'll make myself like it by eating more...